On my way to work this morning, I was listening to Klasik Nasional (feeling old already!..hehe) and the song “Selamat Pengantin Baru” by Allahyarham Saloma was on the air…
Wow, nostalgia, beb! It was played on my wedding day 16 years ago… (yup! It’s a must-play song in every Malay wedding in
16 years of marriage…seems like yesterday I was posing in front of the camera in my wedding “kebaya”…Ironically, last week we were watching my wedding video (with all the children!)..and they were laughing at my “shy-shy” smile on the “pelamin”..haha..They were like “mummy kurus!…abah nampak muda!…cantik nya gown putih tu..Is that opah? She looks very healthy!”…
I had a very simple wedding…yup..we don’t have that much money to have a grand one but everybody was there…my aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, colleagues…Watching the video made me wanna cry not only because I look much younger & slimmer (hehehe)…but my cousins who were my brides maid, are now already working and one will be getting married soon (wink!)
Well, after being married for 16 years…we’ve been through a lot.. “been there, done that!” But in my personal opinion…if we love each other …we will get thru anything…come what may…It’s the love that bond the relationship…no matter what…And of course pray a lot …ask for His guidance, forgiveness and help…..Till death do us part…Insyallah…
OK…I have some tips for those newly married couples or future husbands and wives…oh, yes…the married ones are encourage to chip in some ideas too….why not..?? It is a learning process…
- My mom told me – Take care of your bedroom (well, it may have a deeper meaning…!) but basically, keep it neat and clean.. Go ahead…decorate…renovate or whatever.. make it look like a “bilik pengantin”..Keep it private.
- Try to make time to cook for your husband. I know, I know it can be demanding…I work from 8 am till 5 pm …Rushes out of the house around 7 am..and only reaches home at almost 6 pm – every weekday ! However, I will make sure that dinner is on the table latest by 7.30 pm (errr…I can hear the azan..and I’m still frying the fish..!)..And don’t expect me to cook a feast.. just simple ikan masak sambal, sayur campur, ayam masak lemak cili padi and goreng ikan masin…will do…slurrrppp! Do you know how satisfying it is to see them enjoying my home cooked-meal?….Especially when somebody wants a second helping..!
- A tip from Dato’ Dr Fadzilah Kamsah – Jangan lupa jadi isteri bila sudah jadi ibu…We woman are so busy being a mom (my baby burp how many times a day, the colour of the poop, teething, baby rash etc etc etc) we forgot that we have husbands to take care…Well, be careful…our husbands need the attention too…It’s a no-no to let someone else ‘take care’ of him…(ouch!)
- ‘Melaram’ for your husband! Yeah..I wish I look like Angelina Jolie, too…but hey, come on! You are already beautiful..that is why he fell in love with you in the first place!!Just don’t forget to maintain your natural beauty even if we are at home…Use very light/nude colour lipstick…comb your hair, spray some perfume….Take a bath immediately after waking up in a morning…You’ll be surprised on how these little things can affect your marriage….(listen to grandma, now..hehe)…
- Respect his parents, siblings and relatives as how you want him to respect yours. Show him that his family is your family too. This is very important. Later on, when we need advice…who knows him better other than his parents? Capture his parents heart …(this will be discussed in the next topic…huhu)…
- Communicate with each other…a lot! Be his best friend..someone that he can talk to..about anything. Just be honest to each other…Talk to your partner…let it out… do not keep it inside… Don’t want to end up like a volcano…KABOOOMM!!!
- Accept each other's weaknesses and flaws.
- Solat jemaah together as often as possible.
Well, there a lot more other useful tips that will take me forever to write down. I’m not a professional motivator or counselor but all I can say is -- it’s not always bed of roses…they will be challenges and obstacles…There is no exact formula in a happy marriage…
It takes both the wife and husband to make the marriage works…Each of us will have our own responsibilities. Do it with full of love, full of commitment, honesty and as a Muslim, do remember everything we do is because of Allah….We’ll surely be rewarded.. if not here, in life thereafter…Amin…
SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU
SELAMAT KE ANAK CUCU
MOGA SATU TUJUAN
HIDUP MESTILAH RUKUN
SABAR PALING PERLU
CINTA SETIAP HARI
SENYUM MESTI SELALU
To my friend Syed Idrus and Ime, Hafiza and Junaidi…Semoga Berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat. And to my cousin Farah and partner…(Bila ek?)